During my growth as a person, I made that habit to practice some leadership skills that I’ve learned along the way.
One such technique that really stuck with me is from the book
“How To Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
Part 2: 6 Ways to Make People Like You.
Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
I guess in my case, I got a built-in hack for people to repeat it and remember my name. It’s a rare one and in most cases I would need to repeat it. When they would repeat it out loud back to make sure they were saying it right, I always had a good feeling after. Just saying my name in general did make me feel pretty good. When I would see a person again and they would approach with my name first, I always had instant respect for them. They took the time to remember my name and say it correctly. How could you not like that person who put in that effort.
I took action myself and applied it to the principle. Right from the start, I can see the difference in the person’s energy, it definitely lightened up. Whatever wall they had up would instantly go down once you say their name. After that handshake, an instant trust of some sort is made, and having a conversation is much easier.
Put yourself in this situation. You call a friend and when they pick up, what would be better to hear?
Hello?
or
*YOUR NAME* in an Exciting Tone?
(ie: Jedroooo, what’s up!)
Most cases the second one would be chosen. It makes them feel appreciated, I do when this happens. I know we live in the world of tech and we use email/text, but I believe that leaders still need to connect more on a personal level whether it be phone/video call. Real growth comes from interacting with people on a daily basis and knowing that each has a lesson to teach.
The more I put this into practice, the more people I was getting to know. On some occasions I couldn’t remember the person’s name. I knew who this person was but I just couldn’t remember. After that, I knew I had to find a way to remember people’s names, so I did my research. I came across Jim Kwik, who called himself a “Brain Coach”. The more I learned about him, I found he had a brain injury when he was younger and that alone instantly made me go down a rabbit hole of who he is.
I saw what he could do on stage with his memory and was totally fascinated with what he could do, especially remembering people's names. Not only that, but he had so many more lessons on memory alone, like remembering numbers, lists, & scripts without the need of putting it down.
I was sold on the program and wanted to invest in myself. At the end of the day, I will be learning something new anyways. Plus, it was really affordable compared to other programs out there. When I got to the lesson on remembering people’s names, I gave it my full attention.
Here’s what I learned from it and would like to share it with you!
When you first meet the person and they tell you their name, spell it out in your head.
-use your imagination to do this, see the letters, follow it after every letter till you see the person’s name in full.
The second thing you can do is to discreetly write it down with your finger in the smallest way possible
-using your physical attributes also helps to memorize a person's name, place your writing hand in your pocket and pretend to write it in the smallest font possible. You don’t wanna look crazy waving your finger around the place, unless you want too!
The last thing you can do is spell their name out on their forehead and you can use your favorite color/fonts.
-using a combination of both visual and physical aspects uses more of your natural senses. It’s also wrapped with an emotion (ie favorite color).
This skill took some time for me to get used to and I'm still working on it. It’s a process and I had to be aware to use the skill when needed. I gave it time and practice, eventually you start getting better at it.
Here’s another lesson that I learned from his book “Limitless”.
BE SAUVE. It’s actually an acronym
B.E. S.U.A.V.E
B is for Believe. You first gotta believe in yourself and that you can do it.
E is for Exercise. Learn those exercises from the book to remember people names and drill it
S is for Say It. Say it when your first meet, also that can confirm that you are pronouncing properly
U is for Use it. If you happen to be in a conversation with the person, find a way to use their name.
A is for Ask. Don’t be afraid to ask where their name came from even if it’s a common one. You never know the history or it will be a good laugh and will certainly help remember.
V is for Visualization. Again use your imagination, play around with what works best for you to remember someone. When I would meet someone named Clint, I’d pretend they’d be wearing old wild western swag in reference to Clint Eastwood and his movies.
E is for End. After meeting them, use their name at the end of your conversation before you leave.
These are just one of many techniques I used to help level up my mindset and thinking to get to my goals.
The books mentioned above are a couple that I always pull out from my growing library to refer back on topics and lessons. Definitely recommended if you want to level up.
You can do more research and/or purchase them directly with those links below.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Limitless by Jim Kwik
Let me know in the comments below if you’d want a book review of them from me?