Since submerging myself in the Personal Development Community, I’ve read multiple books on the subject. One such book that I highly recommend reading is in the Title of this Blog.
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
I learned a lot with this book and even more when I took action with the lessons I’ve learned.
Upon taking action and experiencing different reactions and stuff, I came to realize that the 2 things I really wanted to learn out from this book and to get out of my comfort zone were
Public Speaking
Cold Calling
Knowing that the majority of the population don’t like doing either of these things, I knew that if I can learn these skills, I could be at an advantage over those who don’t want to do that.
These 2 skills didn’t come overnight. It was a process that came with going through a lot of fear and humiliation. Controlling my ego, I did not let anything get in the way of wanting to be better at these skills.
Do I get nervous before I start to do any of these? HELL YES! I always do, but I’ve also learned how to control those emotions too. That subject would be on a different story.
Below are the are some habits I've obtained learning those skills.
Public Speaking
I took a night school course on Public Speaking at one of our local colleges here in Vancouver. After dedicating the time to learn and craft this skill, I achieved
Outstanding Confidence.
I was ok talking in front of a crowd, but I didn’t really have the confidence in myself to not use cards or a script. I didn’t really express much emotion and confidence. The program taught me how to use more emotions and gestures confidently.
This skill landed me gigs from Hosting/EmCee events, Specialized Sales Gigs, and as a guest on podcasts/workshop panels within my community. The self control of your emotions and words after practicing gets more clear and the better I get at it, the more I want to learn.
The skill is easily transferable to video recordings. When you get used to talking in front of groups of people, talking in front of a Camera will feel like nothing. Using youtube to create videos also helped me develop and craft. I truly enjoy getting better at public speaking.
One way I keep learning public speaking techniques is that I watch Stand up comedians. They are experts on crowd control. When Ron Josol would come into town, I’d go with him to his shows. I’d watch the other acts and just take notice of small things they do to take control of the crowd. Learning the pauses they use and the emotions behind each word. It’s truly a work of art with what they do up there.
Talk to yourself in front of a mirror and record yourself talking to the camera. Watch yourself. It is uncomfortable at first, but you'll start to get used to it and then you'll start to recognize some flaws. You'll get to fix any bad habits you have.
Cold Calling
The difference between cold calling and public speaking is that you're actually calling an individual, who's a total stranger, convincing them to look at the product or service.
I was given an opportunity to become a cold caller (Learn more about it here)
Yes, Total nerve racking… My first cold call attempt was a total fail. My heart was pounding like crazy, my mouth was so dry that I could barely talk, and when the guy said no and hung up, I felt the heat go up my face, felt sweaty, and humiliated. The guys I worked with saw this and then told me to let this all out. Once I came too, they gave me insight that nothing bad really happened and in reality, nothing bad actually happened. The guy just said No.
After a few more rejections, I got used to it not affecting me emotionally. When I got a ‘No’, I just just dialed the next number on the list. Learning this skill I was able to develop
Thick Skin/Stoic
Before deciding to learn how to cold call, I told myself why would anyone ever do a job like that. Thinking that all those rejections could dehumanize you and make you feel even lower than you currently are. How was I ever wrong…
After a while, I got used to the rejection and then somehow developed a way to change that rejection into an interest. First step was to let go of the initial “Fear” and just start talking. With some practice and continued learning, you’ll get to a point where you can start a conversation with a total stranger anywhere at any time. With the right mindset and attitude, I figured out ways to get ‘Yes’.
Also, this skill taught me how not to get offended and how to calmly react in some crazy situations.
Use your phone to practice this skill. Get a friend and just act out the situation. Find something that you're not interested in, study it for 5 mins. Call your friend on the phone and try to explain the new subject you learned. Ask your friend to be the biggest A$$hol3 on the other end and try to get them to listen to you. Again, it's practice. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations before you try
I believe that anyone can learn these 2 skills with the right mindset and attitude. Once these skills are learned and applied, I know you’ll feel a difference between how you were before and how you will be after. If you’re still not convinced of wanting to learn these skills, you gotta ask yourself
“What do I have to lose?”
“What’s the worst thing that will happen learning these skills?”
“What will happen if I don’t learn these skills?”
Keep in mind that I didn’t learn everything in one night. I had my share of mistakes. When I was a Ring Announcer at a local boxing event, I announced the wrong winner at the Main Event. Was I embarrassed? Yes, I was embarrassed. Did I let it control me? No, I still kept on finding a Public Speaking event to talk at. Mistakes are to be made, that’s how you get better.
If I had to choose going through Cancer again or feeling humiliated, I would choose humiliation 100% of the time because you can recover and heal faster.
I highly Recommend you own the book and as intstructed in the book, review it from time to time. Start Building your own library! Buy it today and hit that Button below.